A World’s Shame: INCEST…

 

By Suzanne Takowsky

The revelation of actress Mackenzie Phillips concerning the years of sexual abuse/incestuous relationship that she experienced with her father, John Phillips —of the 60’s legendary music group The Mama’s and The Papas—really set tongues wagging.  Phillips says that the abuse started with her father raping her when she was 19-years old and that it continued for years until she ended up pregnant and worried that he might be the father.  She had an abortion that she says he paid for.    

From the minute that Phillips’ book, “High on Arrival” hit the streets and she began appearing on talk shows, the tables turned from what she was saying —to why in the hell she was saying it.  Was she lying?  Was she trying to tarnish her father’s good  name?  Was she trying to sell books?  Was she making excuses for her past problems with drugs?  Why was Phillips speaking out now after so many years?  Shouldn’t this “family secret” have gone to the grave with her father when he died in 2001?

It never ceases to amaze me just how hypocritical we in America are.  We are arguably the most morally bankrupt and morally corrupt country in the world. Don’t believe it?  Watch our television shows, go to our movies, listen to the music our kids listen to every minute that they can…then, you tell me.  Yet, we act shocked and are in a state of disbelief when we are forced—and I do mean forced—to come face-to-face with one of our ‘dirty little secrets’.  

Denial.  Now that’s a word.  Apparently a word that most Americans find more comforting than the word—reality. Because the reality of our world is that one in four girls will experience some form of sexual abuse at the hands of  a family member, friend or stranger before they hit adulthood.  As appalling as that is…consider that the U.S. is the principle destination trafficking women and children into sexual slavery.  Up to three-hundred thousand children and more—right now under our nose—are sex slaves of revolting adults, and living as their “property”.  Property.  Now that’s another word we have to consider when we are speaking about incest, sex abuse and sex slavery.  ”Property” refers to an inanimate object; some- thing you own, that you have the right to do with as you like.  Sexual predators see victims  as “their property” —not as human beings.   Consider the life of Jaycee Dugard, held a captive for 18 years and found living in boxes and tents, in the backyard of her kidnapper, Phillip Garrido.  Could she have found a way to leave.  Most certainly.  Could Mackenzie Phillips have found a way to stop the abuse?  Most Certainly.  But this is not about strength to do some- thing—this is about fear and weakness that keeps a victim from doing anything.  

For Phillips, her initiation into shame and disgust for both herself and her father was fueled by the fact that she had no mother, no family member, no friend, no protector, no one that she felt gave a damn about her. And she was right.  No one cared.  Denny Doherty, co-founder of the The Mamas and The Papas knew about the father/daughter hook-up and did nothing.  Nope that’s wrong.  He did do something.  He told his daughter Jessica Woods about it.  That must have been quite a father/ daughter moment.  Woods was left with a secret she couldn’t share, and the knowledge that a girl she knew was being sexually molested by her father.  Then after watching Phillips on the Oprah show… Woods was so  buried in guilt, that she actually  wrote to  Oprah and confirmed Phillips’  story, by saying that it was true.  Saying that her father knew and did nothing.  Phillips was even astounded by  Woods admission saying, “I’m very grateful to Jessica. I never knew she knew…I don’t know how Denny Doherty knew about the relationship.”  Even half sister Chynna Phillips came forward stating to US Weekly that her sister had told her what had happened, but not until 1997.  Chynna said in the article, “Do I believe that they had an incestuous relationship and that it went on for 10 years?  Yes.” 

The dysfunction of John Phillips ran far and wide.  Here is a man (I can’t really refer to him as a “father”) who felt that he was above the laws of human decency.  A man who not only was destroying himself, but wanted to take his daughter with him.   He not only did drugs in front of his daughter, but gave her and injected her with drugs as well, and very conveniently—while both were under the influence of those drugs, took what wasn’t his to take—her life.  And make no mistake, as every woman who has been though the devastation of this evil knows—John Phillips robbed Mackenzie Phillips of her life the same as if he had physically killed her.  A woman’s spirit is what keeps her going.  When her spirit dies, her desire to survive dies and she ends up a zombie going through the motions without any true feelings, without any hope, deep in shame and finding all kinds of clever ways to inflict pain and suffering on herself; What Phillips has done her entire life. 

Even Phillips feels the devastating blow of her revelation and has tried to preface it with comments such as: “He didn’t set out to hurt me,” as she tried to explain to Meredith Vieira on the Today show.  ”He did the best with what he had.  He was a damaged guy.”  Sounds like a victim defending and making excuses for her abuser to me.   Damaged guy?  No Mackenzie, John Phillips was a monster.  He took what was “rape” and turned it into a “normal occurrence” that you came to see as his “love” for you.  Because any sign of attention from an asshole parent can be translated into “love” by a child or an adult who is drowning in abandonment.

Millions of females and children around the world are NOT shocked by Phillips because they have been through it or are in the midst of it.  Sexual abuse is having sex with someone against their will; “will” being that their body might be present, but their heart, mind and soul are a million miles away hoping that one day they will be able to forget.