Some we forgive…others we never will!
Celebrities and scandal go together like a shot of Tequila, lime and salt. There’s nothing shocking about
stars who venture off the beaten path to take a short cut through hell on their way to work. What is amazing
is how we forgive some and not others. I think it comes down to damage control, star talent and believability.
It’s easier for us to watch news unfold about an out of control star’s meltdown on Monday, forgive him/her
on Tuesday, and back to being a fan on Wednesday, IF we believe the offense is self-contained; meaning
the brunt of the joke is the celebrity—not us. Where we begin our transition into venomous sidewinders
is when we realize that WE are the fools; WE are the joke; We are the chumps believing the crap, while
the star is laughing all the way to the bank.
My #1 pick for the most scandalous celeb since Hollywood opened its doors is Charlie Sheen. He is
so out of his mind during his HIGH/MANIC moments we can’t help but be amused. That talk of “winning”
when he was so clearly “losing” the biggest pay check in television history brought tears to my eyes.
He IS or does an incredible ACT of behaving like a drug addict/alcoholic. AND he is the first to take the
blame or the credit depending on his mood. Just watching his infamous TV roast shortly after he got
fired from his top rated TV show, Two and a Half Men, by CBS/Warner Brothers one belly laughed for an
hour. As the highest paid actor in TV history (just under two million dollars an episode) the guy sat in the
hot seat and was dragged through hell and did not flinch as smile after smile crossed his face. It was as if
he enjoyed the backlook of his stroll into quicksand.
Charlie likes hookers and goes so far as telling critics they are “jealous” he has the cash to throw
away on the X-rated side of life. Charlie gets dragged into a hospital or rehab and jolts out with a smile on
his face waving like he is a Rose Parade King on a float. Vivid proclamations that he refuses to be held
hostage by a 12-step program that are more suited for losers than a “winning” guy like himself belongs
in a confessional, not on global news. Charlie went viral on interviews saying he had the ability to consume
enough drugs to kill a normal person, but not himself as he possesses Adonis DNA and tiger
blood. Watching the dazed expressions of those doing the interviews was excruciating hilarious. In
fact, Charlie was so sincere in his delusion, I began to root for his Superman infusion. Charlie gets fired
after making snide remarks about the ethnic background of one of his bosses; instead of being contrite,
he turns the event into a comedy routine and takes it on the road doing a city-to-city tour. Seriously, I was
glued to my TV during his manic meltdown waiting every day to see the follow-up repercussions of the
day before as were millions of other people. Now the big questions: Is Charlie Sheen down and out of
Hollywood? How about us? Is he crossed off our Christmas card list? Have we made the decision to
boycott him from our living rooms, and give our attention to more stable, sane actors? Have his
meltdowns drained his fan base and chased away his cheering section? What about those ex-wives and
paid for girlfriends; the ones with him during his more reflective train wreck moments? Have they turned
their backs and swiped a wet washcloth across their foreheads, happy to rid of the louse? UH NO.
Actually, a BIG NO. Maybe a couple of paid escorts went rogue, but the ex-wives and most of the sleepovers
are sticking like glue. About five minutes after his firing, Charlie was signing a deal for a new show.
Shortly after that he took the carnage of his life on the road and turned it into one of the biggest publicity
stunts of all time. THEN, he took the women and his kids and went on a fab vaca. But not before two
of his luxury cars were stolen out from under his nose (they were in his garage with the keys left in them)
and pitched down a cliff by his house. Last question we want answered: who really stole Charlie’s billion
dollar watch from the hotel room on that fateful night that ended with a hooker naked in the bathroom, cops
at the door and him in court? Has the drama slowed? A tad, but Charlie’s new show hasn’t even seen the
light of day and already there is $50 million lawsuit pending with people scraping over first-idea-ownership
rights. Not only has Charlie’s meltdown not hurt his career, it’s back on track with a vengeance, complete
with a new commercial from Fiat showing him zooming around his mansion in a tiny Fiat smoking up
the walls with burning tires, then stepping out of the car with a police ankle monitor strapped to his leg,
smiling like a hyena asking: “What other choice do I have when I’m under house arrest?” Charlie is a brilliant
actor (even his harshest critics had to admit he never acted up on the set only on his days off!!!). He
is charming and relentlessly captivating even during his wackiest meltdowns and from what I see many of
his women stand behind him, keeping their mouths shut for the most part. Is it the cash he throws their
way? Maybe, but nevertheless he continues down the road undeterred by his shenanigans. Charlie’s new
show will debut and we will watch it because Charlie is talented, fun and not hurting anyone but himself. He
gives us what we pay for—entertainment. He is not a role model. He is an actor and he does a tremendous
job doing his job. I wish him health and success as I did another amazingly talented actor a few years back
who was also going through a rough patch—Robert Downey, Jr., and look how he turned his life around
(happily married and a new father). Charlie needs to turn down the volume on his life not for us, but for
himself. A sad day would be one with news something had brought his life to a tragic end. I think most
people are rooting for him. I for one will watch his new show and as I did with his last show…sit back and
enjoy the many talents this guy brings to the screen. Why don’t we feel duped by all this Charlie ruckus?
Why are we still his fans? Because he is in real life who he plays on screen; he’s not PRETENDING to
be something he’s not for a pay check and ratings.
#2—Kim Kardashian. Charlie gave us years of brilliant acting performances. Kim has also given us
a few brilliant acting performances, but unlike Charlie, she will never be nominated for an Oscar because,
no script was involved. We saw Kim rise from the ashes of being a stylist to the steps of stardom with
the unveiling of a sex tape she made with then boyfriend Ray J. and a fleeting friendship with Paris
Hilton. Once the sex tape hit public viewing (some of her critics believe she was behind its release) it was
a fast road to riches for a young woman who although grew up in an affluent and educated home (her father
was a very respected, high powered L.A. attorney) had no educated ambitions of her own. Why are Kim’s
fans turning on her? Not that I was ever a big fan, but people hate that she has no star talent to offer for all
the money she is making. Kim by birthright is getting rich off her mother’s incredible business brain. Boo
all you want, but Kris Jenner has made her family rich out of thin air and should be in the Guinness Book
of World Records as the #1 agent on planet earth. Boo all you want again, but Kim is a steam roller, a
hard nosed money-maker who eats, breathes and thinks cash. She is no slacker. She works hard to
bring about what her mother dreams up for her to do, and her sisters and brother the same thing. While some kids refuse advice from a parent, Kim and her siblings embrace the brilliance of their mom’s career boosting tactics (no matter how they gripe on TV) and are riding on easy street because of it. From the outcry of popular opinion, people are getting nasty not because she can’t stay married or find a real talent or even because of those nails and broom eyelashes we are forced to notice whether we want to or not. People are sick of Kim because of her relentless self indulgent, self-promoting marketing. And I get it. She is striking non-stop while the iron is hot and before the celebrity curtain comes crashing down. Everyone makes mistakes, but why in the world does SHE need to jump from one BAD”DUDE to the other? She has money, youth, beauty and more retail endorsements than she can count. Why not cool her jets, enjoy the cash, relish the fame and give her vagina a rest? She is better than all these crumbs draped on her arm. What people are finding most scandalous about Kim is she is making money off making the public look like fools. Who in hell ever believed she was in love with Kris Humphries? I remember seeing him one night on Jay Leno, she was sitting by his side and he was acting like a pompous, smart talking jackass, so much so Jay looked like he wanted to reach over, slap his face or drag him to the men’s room to wash out his mouth with soap. Kim sat embarrassed and on pins and needles, scared of the next stupid statement that would explode out of his mouth.
# 3. Possibly one of the most talented actresses in Hollywood today, Lindsay Lohan is crumbling before our eyes. Watching her in courtroom mode is too harsh for words. She has lost her footing and it would be a life-saving advantage if she had someone at home in “parentmode” to give her a helping hand, but it doesn’t look like she does. All the hocus pocus she casts driving under the influence, car chases through the streets of L.A., charged with stealing a necklace? WTF… wrecking cars into trees, running, fleeing, protesting, pleading…my oh my Dorothy what can happen next? How about a taxi driver talking trash about a sex-forcab-fare-trade? On a brighter note folks Lindsay will play Elizabeth Taylor in an upcoming Lifetime biopic, Liz and Dick. Success and amazing roles on TV and the big screen and is where we want to see Lindsay, not behind bars. Unfortunately her story is not different than that of other child stars who were robbed of their youth and are now taking it out on themselves as adults. But this crash and burn is truly tragic. Unlike Britney Spear’s parents who grabbed the reigns of their struggling daughter and got her back to stability, Lindsay’s parents need parenting themselves. It’s difficult to get help from a dad who acts badly enough to go to jail or a mother who still hits the club scene. I see no one thrilled that Lindsay is going through a personal hell, in fact people say the opposite. Nobody wants to see her in a prison inmate stage production. Maybe this role as Liz will be the starting point of her return to a profession she is amazing at doing. It’s out right painful to watch her drowning in a sea of arrests, warrants and rehab stints. Lindsay we feel your pain and want you off Hollywood’s most scandalous list and on a Best Actress ballot.